After the shock of my husband's death wore off and I began to feel some sense of normalcy in my life, I tried to find information on being widowed and helping get through the grief.  I didn’t find much information that pertained to a childless widow in her 20's or 30's.  That was over 8 years ago so hopefully there is more information available now.

There I was 29 years old and the life that I had dreamed about was changed in an instance.  I thought we were going to have a family and live until we were old and gray, sitting on the patio watching our grandchildren play.  Not only did I grieve the death of my husband but I grieved for the children and life  that I dreamed of and I wasn’t going to have.  I imagine for women who have children that they grieve for their children in that they will miss out on having their father to be with them when they graduate, get married, have children and every other day to day part of life.  As women I think we look beyond ourselves, in that we want to protect and comfort those around us.  I often think of our nieces and nephews.  They simply adored their uncle.  Instead of us both being present at their graduations, weddings, it will just be me and I know I'll be a bit sad.

It took some time for me to realize that I wasn’t just grieving for my husband.  There are still days I feel selfish for grieving for the future I wanted.  Yet with that said, I do hope one day to fall in love and marry again.  If I don't, I know it will be okay.  While I miss being part of a couple and want it again, I realize I don't need it.  I feel lucky to have loved and been loved so deeply.

If you have found a website or book that deals with widowhood for young, childless widows, please upload the link to share with others.