I've been searching for the right time to share my most recent life event and how it is affecting my life.  The celebration of National Heart Month and Valentine's Day inspired me to write this post today.

On December 30, 2008, my mother-in-law Peggy Beatty died in an unexplained drowning.  A good swimmer her whole life, we can only surmise that she passed out due to a blood pressure incident and fell unconscious into her daughter's pool just before heading home from the Christmas holiday.  She would have turned 80 this summer.

Her death has left a gaping hole in the lives of my husband, myself and our daughter, Hannah, pictured here with her "Grammy" just two days before she died.  It was the last photo taken of Peggy. 

Living in the same city with Peggy meant we saw her nearly every week for Sunday lunch at her house.  It was a tradition started two decades ago when I was first married and continued throughout my daughter's life.  We also spent one week a summer on vacation together with all Peggy's children and grandchildren at the beach.  And there has rarely been a holiday that we haven't celebrated together in some way for as long as I have been married to her son (24 years this summer). 

There were times when I wondered if all this togetherness was really necessary.  I don't question it one bit now.  My daughter will never forget the many stories we shared around the dining room table.  She knew her grandmother better in the ten short years they had together than some people know their own mothers after a lifetime. 

Peggy was more than a mother-in-law to me.  She was a mentor and friend.  I remember in college she bought me my first suit to interview in for a job.  It was in the days of IBM blue suits, crisp white shirts, matching blue pumps and (heaven forbid) nylon hose.  She was as proud of me as I was grateful to her for giving me a helping hand when I needed it most.  She followed my career closely and often read articles about the companies I worked for and with and called to talk to me about them. 

Peggy was a wonderful grandmother to all her grand kids.  She loved to play games with them indoors and out.  She also loved to cook for them, always making their favorites when they visited.  She never raised her voice but she commanded their respect.  She loved them like her own children but never tried to be their parent.

I share this with you now because I believe Peggy could be alive today had she followed her doctor's orders more closely regarding her blood pressure and cholesterol issues.  She was at risk for heart disease even though she was never diagnosed with it.  She tried to treat herself with diet, exercise and limited use of the medications prescribed to her.  And while I respect her desire to take charge of her health, I regret her decision to second guess her physician.

As the chief health care officers of ourselves and our family, we have an even greater burden to understand and apply the confusing sea of information regarding how to live a healthy life. Despite the conflicting data, information is still our best defense.  As is action.  If we don't take care of ourselves, how can we take care of others? 

I encourage you today to get educated about heart disease and your risk factors.  Gather your information from many sources and make an informed decision about how you will live your life not in fear or denial but in confidence and control.  You won't regret it.  Nor will your grand kids.

For more info, visit http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/educational/hearttruth/index.htm

Happy Valentine's Day!